Red~Head~Bed~Head

Still Alive...

2005-12-01T14:34:00.000-08:00

A couple of sweethearts have emailed me to ask why I've not been posting...

Just uninspired at the moment unfortunately...

I'm genuinely very touched by the concern though.

I seem to have lost the ability to write as life is a bit of a drain at the moment.

But hopefully I'll be back to it soon...I kind of miss it in a way.

So don't be un-bookmarking me (yet)!

Kisses,

R~H~B~H
~X~X~X~

Touch

2005-09-22T08:08:00.000-07:00

Simply from your touch...

My very substance ~ still congealed and congested by the day,

Surrenders itself into a scorching fizz,

Each bursting bubble bringing with it the feeling of entering you...

Slowly...

Brutally...

Softly...

And my veins stream like hot rain over a speeding car,

Until I feel veiled by your sweet ether,

Breathless from your sweet ether,

Liberated by your sweet ether.

Sleepy Sex...

2005-09-16T05:12:00.000-07:00

Last night I kissed GG goodnight and went to bed feeling shattered.

I was in a deep sleep when she eventually came to bed and I felt her slowly slide up next to me ~ and I stirred under that thick heady soup of sleep as I felt her gently stroking my back with her finger tips ~ that blissful liquid~tingling energy lulling me back into consciousness.

I opened my eyes slowly ~ the room was barely lit by the pale light that trickled between the curtains. She was a soft, warm silhouette, her breasts gently pushed against my chest, I could feel her cheek against my head.

I leant out to kiss her and the small gentle kiss that I was expecting got slowly deeper as she tucked her arm under my neck, propped herself up, and ran her warm hands across my chest as we kissed.

We kissed for a couple of minutes and then she slowly ran her hand down to my tummy, that wonderfully reassuring sensitive spot between the navel and the pubic bone where she began to make those patient little circles with her fingers.

I was still feeling very tired and the words “I don’t feel horny” were just trying to tempt their way past my lips when she excruciatingly slowly began to stroke my balls ~ a feeling that for me is so very very sublime and comforting and erotic and loving. I let out a sweet sweet sigh as my whole body began to feel like it was melding into the bed, giving myself willingly to the occasion.

She does this sometimes before we go to sleep. It is one of the nicest sensual feelings I’ve ever known and I can only describe it as making me feel like there is a gentle liquid~silk slipstream running throughout my body…it is a truly wonderful feeling…

Then I feel her tongue on my nipple and I know that she wants me ~ because no matter how sated or un~sexy I am feeling, she knows full well that by slowly licking my pierced nipple, my cock will become hard without fail. And sure enough, it slowly began to grow as she teased my nipple with her tongue and slowly stroked my balls…

…Fuck…I quite simply had to stop writing there and bring myself off…

She began to move to change position

~~Oh god, please ride me~~ I was thinking to myself

~~I love it when she rides me~~

~~When she fucks me~~

~~When she steadies herself against my chest and just grinds herself on me with that hard circular motion~~

She got on top of me and took hold of my cock, and in one swift action she slid right down onto me. Oh god she was soaking wet.

She leant forward and tucked her right arm under my neck and began to ride me slowly, her tits pushed up against me, my warm hands on her hips, kissing me, stroking my face with her free hand, making me feel like I was being taken completely…

~Bliss~

We wrapped our arms around each other to feel as much of each other as possible as she fucked me. “Hug~Fucking” is incredible ~ she always waxes lyrical about my “magical hands” and I love those times when all I need to do is just squeeze her that little bit harder to take her over the edge.

I put my hands on her hips, squeezing firmly, as I gently helped her come down harder onto my cock as I brought my own hip up to meet her. I knew she liked that ~ that extra bit of depth ~ that slightly more solid grind…

And so she positioned herself up on top of me ~

~Steadying herself on my chest~

~~Oh god, please ride me~~

~~I love it when she rides me~~

~~When she fucks me~~

~~And she fucked me~~

~~Grinding herself down onto me with that swift circular motion~~

~~Getting harder~~

~~Faster~~

I was completely taken by the wonderful vision of this gorgeous woman, her body silhouetted by the window behind, her tits swinging in front of me, her hand on my chest, the sound of her pending bliss, the contrast of her hard grind against my pubic bone but the solid, soft warm gyrations of her cunt on me.

~~And then she shuddered~~

~~And she went diving in to an intense, loud, beautiful orgasm as she pushed down onto my chest and came hard on me, my cock burning from her heat, my hands on her tits, teasing her nipples to draw it out longer, deeper, as I used my entire willpower not to come knowing she would want more ~~

And as her orgasm slowly subsided she veiled me once more with her body and I held her close for a while.

After a few minutes she spoke for the first time…

“Would you fuck me from behind now please?”

She lifted herself off me and positioned herself in the middle of the bed with the top half of her body down on the mattress, her arse lifted up in the air for me whilst I positioned myself behind her.

I offered my cock up to her pussy and heard her whisper “do it”.

I pushed myself deep inside her and began to fuck her slowly, really slowly, long patient strokes that took me as deep as I could go, and then out so that the tip of my cock was just barely inside her whilst I steadied myself with my hands on her hips.

I continued like this for ages until she started to fuck herself onto me, wanting me to increase the pace ~ when I told her to get up on all fours and I pushed myself in hard and deep, leaving my cock there whilst I reached around her with my right hand and teased her nipples with my fingers which made her let out a sweet groan and desperately try to fuck herself onto my cock harder. But I remained steady for a few seconds and then gave in to her.

I gathered her hair up into a pony tail, her neck arched back, vulnerable, and began to fuck her harder, faster, continuing to hold her hair with one hand whilst I held her throat gently with the other.

When I fuck her like this it makes her so ecstatic that I find it hard to tell if she is having one orgasm, several orgasms, or that she is not cumming at all but is just totally lost in the moment.

When I fuck her like this I know she feels completely owned – that her inner-whore would do anything I wanted. I know she likes to be treated rough when I fuck her so.

I take my hand from her throat and then

~~~~crack~~~~

I (gently) slap her across the face from behind. She shudders.

“Again”

~~~~crack~~~~

Now she is totally given over to it. I grab her by the throat once more and pull her a bit harder towards me so her back is well arched and I can carefully put all of our weight onto my knees and reach around with my other hand and tease her nipples…

And she is whimpering “fuck me’s” like some whorish mantra and falls forward onto the bed, her face buried in the pillow.

I take one hand and place it just below the middle of her shoulders, place my other hand on the small of her back so I can push down on her ~ make her feel pinned, forced into the bed, overwhelmed, owned and made to, as fuck her as hard and as fast as I can ~ my cock belting in and out of her sweet wanton cunt as she becomes almost delirious with it.

~~God I love taking you like this~~

I feel myself on the verge of cumming. It’s too soon. I slow the pace down and fuck her slower, pausing every now and then to compose myself.

I love to fuck you like this GG. To bring myself right to the edge and then fight the temptation to cum inside you by just burying myself deep inside you, not moving, holding your hips hard so you can’t resume fucking yourself onto my cock in that whorish frenzy you end up being taken by when I fuck you so.

After about five minutes of this intensely agonising body-head-fuck of not cumming we are both ready. She’s still wriggling around on my cock like a complete slut as I fuck her slowly, but then I up the pace, reaching deep into my energy reserves and almost shock her as I suddenly fuck myself into her as fast and hard as I can, my cock aching to cum as if my entirety has doubled back on itself and my orgasm is finally released deep inside her as I cum loudly, bringing my hand down hard onto her arse with the release, my cock still jolting inside her and the room is filled with our heavy moans and breathing.

She slowly collapses forward onto the bed and I follow, my cock still hard inside her ~ and I lie on top of her at a slight angle as I stroke her hair and the nape of her neck sending sweet tingles through her body…

The Bi~Side...

2005-08-16T04:30:00.000-07:00

One of the things I’ve noticed about myself since having experimented more with ass play recently is how it has gradually made me more curious about being fucked by a guy.

I’ve always been very mildly bi-curious. When I was about 23 a guy went down on me after a party but it did nothing for me ~ but he wasn’t experienced with men or women so maybe that had something to do with it.

So since then nothing has happened.

I think that my relationship with GG has also made me more inquisitive about it. We both get turned on by the idea of her being with another woman, or me with another guy ~ and because we fantasize about it, and because we talk so openly and unashamedly about it (because there IS nothing to be ashamed about - and we accept and don’t feel threatened by this side of each other) ~ it kind of makes it more of an exciting possibility.

I think I’ve learned more about myself reflecting on what turns me on about being with a guy. This might sound odd but in some ways it is about connecting with my feminine side a bit more. It sounds like a real “new man” cliché brag nowadays but I’ve always been in touch with my feminine side and have always found femininity a strong influence in my life ~ not just in terms of sex but ~ shit I can’t put it into words as eloquently as I’d like to…just that alluring potency ~ its visual and emotional and chemical and I think that being in touch with that aspect of my sexuality has made me a better person and perhaps more of a considerate lover.

Whilst this might sound like I am bordering on becoming a transsexual or something (and I can assure you I am not!), it is like I’m jealous in a way of not being able to “be” a woman at times. That my own masculinity and sense of self has been constructed during my life and also in myself in a way that cannot transcend parts of my own gendered identity. Perhaps this dichotomy is the root of desire? Perhaps not!

I have adored many aspects of the women I have known as friends or as lovers, or even as strangers, and whom I have admired ~ and again, not just in sexual terms but (I guess) in gendered terms too. I guess this is part of my own male gaze, but obviously not just in visual terms.

I can only describe it as if it is like my hands have eyes, my eyes have hands, and like I just want to gently slip into femininity for a while to see what I learn from exploring it in a different way.

I think this is reflected when I fantasize about being with a guy. As a man (obviously) my sexual experiences have been penetrative. I’m not, of course, undermining the emotional and sensual side here either ~ I’m just talking about the base act of fucking.

So I think it is the idea of actually being fucked, of making my body available to another man to be penetrated that I am finding increasingly erotic.

Yet I find myself also fantasizing about being fucked by a woman too ~ with a strap on. I find well taken images of women wearing strap-ons deeply erotic ~ not like that pornographic~need~to~wank~erotica, but that core warm soothing eroticism that is more patient, more voyeuristic and with the most innocent appreciative non-agenda (thanks, by the way, Dacia!).

~Yawn~

2005-08-05T05:25:00.000-07:00

I’ve had more thrills making up these spoof Apple/Aneros adverts than from sticking the fucking thing up my butt! It’s just not right my horny friends – it’s just not right.

I put too much stock in the Aneros and it has now made a complete Nixon-esque mockery of my mission.

I thought to myself “R~H~B~H – if you get this Aneros thing to work then you won’t need to wank no more/as much… Mo Wanking.” Isn’t that like a Spike Lee film/joint?

So Anyhoo, I’ve slipped like a non-repentant monk into a pool of ale and calligraphy, and back into the habits of “waxing the bishop” (one of the many names we have for it here in the UK).

To be fair though, I’ve not really had much of a go over the last week. I will persist! But the thing is – I’m like any other red-blooded male. After like 24 hours of no orgasm my mind starts to slump a bit. When it comes to 48 hours I’m just a heap of ginger melancholy. No good to man, woman, nor beast. It kind of scares me that after 48 hours I become a bit depressed if I haven’t jizzed. It doesn’t paint a good picture. Maybe I should try paint instead?

If the Aneros had done what it said on the tin then it wouldn’t be a problem – but its hard to function on a daily basis with that warm heavy delight between your legs that never ceases to remind you that it requires constant petting.

I’m a randy bastard really. I don’t know what I was thinking. I couldn’t even write about it as well as I would have liked because I was starting to find that even the keyboard was becoming a sensual vessel of fingertip titillation. At least I know how St. Augustine felt like now before he uttered those profound words, "Well smack my ass and call me a bitch!"

Sorry, I’m feeling remarkably uninspired at the moment and am beginning to see why those statistics make sense – that 54% of blogs stop being updated after three months from starting.

But hey! I’ve got a new iPod/aPod spoof!

Here…

Sized Up

2005-07-29T07:30:00.000-07:00

I swear to God that whilst the a~Pod/Aneros thing hasn't fully taken me yet - it's making my cock bigger...

I wonder if I can sell my Penis Pump on eBay?

x

Light-Heavy-Light

2005-07-28T21:33:00.000-07:00

Well it has been five days now since the a~Pod charmed its way into my life. It’s an education for sure, and whilst I’m yet to experience to the full its orgasmic promise I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t enjoying the experience.

Ass-play was more or less an alien thing for me until recently. Sure I’ve experimented in the past to no avail, but never with such sphinctorial commitment.

I’ve got to take my hat off to the people at Aneros for a) not issuing me with a court summons for my a~Pod spoof (Apple Inc might be a different story!) and b) for not only designing the Aneros in the first place but also providing such a popular forum for people to discuss their experiences and offer support to others.

It’s a marvellous thing that guys can talk so openly about ass-play given the taboo that surrounds it. Maybe this is not such a new thing in the gay community (I don’t know) but for me, as a woman-loving (slightly bi curious) Red~Head~Bed~Head it is new and encouraging to see such a positive attitude that is helping guys embrace the ass. One gentleman in particular that I would (again) take my hat off to (if it hadn’t been blown away in yesterdays tornado) would be the active gentleman contributor on the forum “Bonaparte” (great name). What an admirable attitude he has for unashamed altruistic reflexivity and encouragement.

It is precisely that kind of attitude that helps bring ass-talk all out into the open – and for guys this is not only important for the fun stuff but also for the serious stuff like prostate cancer. The more that is done to lift the taboo on talking about the ass the quicker people will be to react to any health scares. In the UK this has been reported as a real issue recently in that a significant number of people (which in my opinion begins at just One) are dying unnecessarily of prostate (and also testicular cancer) due to not being able to talk about it, or are unaware of it. I for one had a testicular cancer scare a few months ago – fortunately for me I was given the all clear immediately – but even with my open attitude towards things there was still genuine anxiety, tears shed, and the total horror at the thought of someone handling my delicates - before I could even make the call to my Doctor.

Sorry to put a downer on things there folks!

Anyway – time to lift things back up into Happyville!!!

In an apparent lemming-like stupidity to act like a lawsuit magnet for Apple Inc and Aneros I can unveil my latest iPod a~Pod spoof. I was going to post this next week but given the above I think a laughter injection is needed! I hope you like it…more to follow…

The iPod aPod Connection Proven!

2005-07-27T11:10:00.000-07:00

Okay ~ so I was on the phone today with the people from Aneros to find out what the link was between the design team at Aneros and the design team at Apple Inc.

Would you believe it I was absolutely right! Sherlock Holmes step aside! R~H~B~H (PI) is here as Slut Sleuth (with a cape and everything!) YAAAAY!!!

So Aneros’ R & D department (not the Rectum and Delight Dept – but the other one – Research and Development) said that they had worked with Apple Inc and Mr Jonathan Ive to help out on the project. Jonathan Ive, you may or may not know my horny friends, is the gentleman who designed the…wait for it…iPod and the iMac!!!!!!

Can I hear a big “WOOOOO-HOOOOOOO” from y’all down in the South, and a “BRA-VO” from you kind fellows in the East?

So…

The story (in a nutshell) goes like this…

Aneros and Apple are in discussions for months looking at how to develop the idea that they have both been trying to work on for years ~ how to get past an asshole to find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

For Apple, the asshole is Bill Gates. For Aneros it was asshole in the truest biological sense. Which yes, some of you might still say is Bill Gates…or George Bush…or Tony Blair…or even me for that matter.

Anyhoo, they get together around a big table with comfy seats, lots of smiling faces, and discuss how they can work together on the asshole problem (just like Bush and Blair did).

Aneros had been struggling for years to find the perfect anal plug and play system; Apple Inc had that concept well and truly drilled. Apple had the Microsoft Asshole problem (that’s not micro_soft_asshole ~ I don’t know what that is ~ ask a doctor) whilst Aneros had been configuring and reconfiguring technology to minimize asshole control for several years.

It was a match made in heaven. Jonathan Ive (the designer) came up with the killer idea of cross-referencing the aesthetic design of the iPod and iMac with the Aneros. It would be a techno-trinity of titillation if you will. And they did.

However…

Problems began when it came to the marketing stage. Jonathan Ive had made the mistake of using the same advertising style for BOTH products. Nobody could agree who had a legal right to the advertising campaign that they all knew was going to be a success…it went to court…Apple won (don’t they always) and Aneros had to find an alternative ad campaign.

It was a sad day. The partnership was broken and with it, in my opinion, the wonderful depravities of cybersex technology has been set back by decades…DECADES I TELL YOU!!!!

Aneros kindly sent me a copy of one of the advertisements that would have appeared on billboards across the world had things gone more smoothly.

And here it is for your viewing pleasure…

Adventures on Planet Aneros: Episode III

2005-07-27T04:15:00.000-07:00

Okay – maybe in all of my pent up frustration I was a little too hard on the a~Pod last night. I kind of felt like starting a new trend in podcasting ~ a~Pod casting ~ out of the window and into the bushes. God knows they could do with some fertilizer.

So I sat down today, rolled up my sleeves, and read the online Aneros forum. That’s right! They actually have a forum and it is completely cool! Oh the joys of the web in bringing like-minded sphincter contracting practitioners together! I wander if there is a rampant rabbit forum out there somewhere?

Anyhoo, I read a few comments from people who have had some experience with it and took some of it into consideration…

I get it lubed up and then followed the advice - slip it in and “do nothing”. Apparently some guy went to sleep with it ~ admirable. I toss and turn too much in my sleep to find that an option. But his advice was stimulating and encouraging. I just fear for his safety.

So I lay there for about an hour reading some erotic literature and then thought to myself ~ “nothing is happening here” ~ so I went to pull it out and it felt fucking great ~ warm and tight and ohhhh yeahhhh baby!!! So I had no option to let it back in ~ and I swear to god the fucking thing tried to steal my soul ~ it just suddenly sucked it’s way back in to me – so I started the contractions again and boy oh boy was it nice

But alas no “Super O” as they call it.

But hell, it was a start!

So I carried on ~ doing the contractions like they say, but stopping every now and then to fuck my own ass using the handle (which they say not to do) ~ but hell ~ I was enjoying myself and for some reason began to imagine my girl fucking me with a strap on ~ which was pretty fucking hot actually ~ and maybe something I’ll do a story about soon when the more erotic and creative juices are flowing.

I’m not sure though. I’ve never had an orgasm like the a~Pod seeks to deliver so I’m not entirely sure what to expect. Given the write-ups in the forum I’m sure that it is a matter of time. There are some very happy chappies voicing their praise!

So I guess I came slightly (people on the forum call it a “mini-o”) which was very nice indeed ~ but didn’t quite make it to Damascus. Why Damascus I’m not quite sure.

If anyone out there is reading this and has tried it themselves…is it usual to get that feeling like you are about to shit when you are getting close?

Let’s be frank people ~ it’s not like there is a particularly sensual way to talk about the logistics of this is there? If there is, then please...inspire me...

So my faith in the a~Pod is restored ~ I just need to think twice about what I’m eating from now on…

Only a rant...

2005-07-26T22:19:00.000-07:00

5:23 PM:

Right this minute I’m sitting at my desk with my cock getting warmer and warmer against my leg.

I squeeze it occasionally through my jeans as to tease myself further.

NO WANKING! I fucked up yesterday and did it ~ my resolve faded after my first a~Pod adventure. But back on the horse I got.

Fuck this is getting unbearable. I keep stopping to squeeze between sentences.

I don’t know why but when my cock gets hotter my hands do too ~ sometimes to the point where they feel like they are burning. Now they’re just toasty!

GG is coming back from work soon but we won’t get a chance to fuck until later because she has to go out again quickly…

…So ordinarily ~ this would be time I’d sit back and unzip. Fuck this is too much…

I’d strip off and recline into my chair and take the weight of my heavy cock in my right hand and then just stroke my soft skin, maybe my balls too.

~I love having my balls stroked ~ even when it’s not leading on to something ~ it just makes me feel exposed, reassured even~

Then I’d spit on the end of my cock (I’m not circumcised) and start wanking myself slowly, savouring the wetness and loving each movement.

The thing about men wanking though is I’ve never really seen it as a graceful thing. I mean, to watch a woman get herself off I find really seXy, and women can do it with such elegance because it’s all in the wrist and fingers, whereas for me (and maybe guys in general) it’s harder to get there slowly ~ which usually involves going at it like an overly passionate orchestra conductor in the last few minutes. Who knows ~ maybe some of you out there like to see some speed! Maybe it’s Maaaaaannnnnly!!!

~

9:28PM

Well, since writing the above, I’ve greeted my love as she returned from work, cooked a fab stir-fry with chicken, pak/bok choi, ginger, spring onions, garlic, rice noodles, and broccoli (yum), watched tv for a bit, and now find myself still being menaced by my sex and feeling ravenously horny!

Can’t go and hassle GG for sex as she is busy, feeling a bit under the weather, and talking to her mum on the phone.

This is fucking bullshit! Why am I doing this “not wanking” thing to myself? I can’t even get off on that glorified butt-plug I bought for the price of four hand jobs down town. Not that I have ever paid for it mind!

*R~H~B~H whistles for the dog…HERE BOY!*
*R~H~B~H realises he doesn’t own a dog!*
Aaaaaarrrgggghhhhh neeeeeeeeed toooooo cuuuummmm!!!!

Not quite the intellectually stimulating voyage of discovery I was hoping for.

Never mind. At least you’re not paying to read this!

WHERE DID MY FUCKING RUBIK CUBE GO!?!?!?!?!

Adventures on Planet Aneros: Episode II

2005-07-26T04:53:00.000-07:00

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t slightly nervous about putting what I will now call (given my G5 iMac anal~ogy below) the “a~Pod” inside me.

I read the instructions on the back, went into my bedroom where I keep my “WhoreDraw” next to the bed filled with condoms, cuffs, nipple clamps, Spanish fly (not really), minty play gel, and lubricant.

I reached for the latter and retired back to the study, undressed (socks and all!), and lay down on the rug on my side (as instructed).

I smeared the lube onto the a~Pod and re-read the instructions once more.

“Slowly insert the Aneros, positioning the perineum abutment to press against the area between the anus and the scrotum”. Such erotic terminology...

“Relax – mentally and physically for about 15 minutes. Allow your body to become accustomed to the massager. Breathe deeply, releasing tension and focusing on the new sensations.”

So I lay there on the floor in the recommended posture (lying on side, lower leg straight, top leg to stomach), praying to God that the doorbell didn’t go…

And I “relaxed” and waited. After about five minutes of lying there like a police crime scene photograph of a Redneck stag night gone wrong, I lost patience and reached once more for the instructions…

“Contract and relax the sphincter muscle as slowly as possible”. Now the sphincter is one of these things that we’ve all heard of but given its location it’s not really something that people can point out to you when you first come to know about it ~

“It’s juuuuusssst...[schhlopp]…about there…”.

"Thank you professor...".

Although I knew where it was and how to contract it I couldn’t help but feel a bit naïve as the session progressed and nothing happened. I began to feel (no offence intended) somewhat Catholic.

So I increased the contractions waiting for this life transforming “Super~O” to arrive.

A few nice feelings were felt (actually the most pleasurable one was when I pulled it out at one point), but nothing that took me like a trichomaniac to the floor of a barbershop.

So after about forty-five minutes I gave up, got to my feet feeling quite dizzy (so something was going on) and then (shamefully) reconciled my heterosexuality by wanking myself to orgasm!

Anyway, time to get back on the horse…

Friday Night ~ After the Text…

2005-07-25T11:52:00.000-07:00

You were not long in from work ~ dressed in that chocolate-brown wrap dress, those flirty “fuck me shoes”, and those light brown hold-ups that I love…

When you dress like this it ignites a deep visual eroticism in me and I yearn to engage you in an impossible mix of cinematic touch-and-vision. All at once I ache for the role of voyeur and lover ~ to be in a multitude of spaces ~ watching you through a lens ~ watching you through the tease of a door slightly ajar ~ watching you through the eyes of another ~ but my warm soft hands upon you ~ my cheek brushing gently against your thigh ~ touching you like my hands have eyes ~ touching you with complete agenda…

We kiss standing up in the living room and then I gently turn you with your back towards me, slowly brushing my hands symmetrically across your form ~ from your hips up your torso, to your breasts, under your arms, up your back and into your soft hair ~ then back down your arms where I grab your wrists together more forcefully and then cuff you gently in red leather.

I pull out a chair and place it in the middle of the room and make you sit in front of the mirror - your legs apart. I begin to photograph you – your dress, your legs, your feet.

Then I walk up behind you and demand you look at yourself as I untie your wrap dress and release your breasts. I run my hands over your body – over your tits, down your arms and then more forcibly onto your cunt and you gasp as my fingers meet your sex.

Now I’m holding you gently by your throat and telling you that you are my dirty little whore…

“What are you?” I demand in solid whisper.

“Your dirty little whore.”

Now you are blindfolded, sitting in the chair.

Now my mouth works greedily at your clit as I sit between your legs and nuzzle my face against you.

Now the smell of you makes me hard.

Now I'm hardened further by the gentle echoes of your pleasure.

Now I’m on my feet to kiss you so you can taste yourself on me.

Now you are licking my lips with a hunger as I pull away.

And then I untie you and tell you I’m leaving the room…

“I won’t be back until you cum for me” I say.

So I leave the room and wait, listening to your sweet tones through the doorway. And then, minutes later, I slowly creep back into the room so you are unaware of my presence ~ and I watch you perform for me like the complete unassuming whore that I’ve made you.

But I can tell that there, for you ~ alone in the darkness ~ you can’t find your release…

So I dip my fingers in mint scented gel and creep up behind you, and then slowly lower my fingers onto your nipples in unison, whilst the shock of my touch and the cool, sweet slickness of my fingers encompasses your sex with a deep jolt as you shudder, pathetically try to bite your bottom lip, and then freefall uncontrollably into a deep liquid pink orgasm ~ ~ ~

And now I’m holding you reassuringly in the chair ~ your hands free of red leather ~ your breathing slows ~ your body cooling ~ my palms moving electricity along your arms to the nape of your neck…

~ And I smile as you chuckle with contentment ~

Adventures on Planet Aneros Episode I

2005-07-24T23:02:00.000-07:00

I obviously suck at this blog thing. Already I have broken (I prefer “revised”) one of the key aspects of this blog that I’ve discussed below which is only to engage in any kind of sexual activity with partner. Naughty R~H~B~H!!!!

No, I didn’t engage in sexual activity with anyone else! Well, not in real life anyway…there was me as schoolteacher, my partner, and another teacher treating her like a fifteen-year-old schoolgirl whore in the gym in a shared fantasy yesterday (but that’s a story to come later…)

No, after writing my entry on the 22nd July (“Oh Yeah…about my blog”) I ended up going on a feverous rampage through Sluttsville-Sur-La-Webbe following links from the likes of Dirty Boy and Belle De Jour which took me to all sorts of dark and wonderful places laced with photos, words, and mpegs…FANTASTIC!!!

Then that thing happened to me…maybe you know what I mean…it’s like the creative daring sexual juices start to flow. The Inner-Whore takes a trip out to the sexual boundaries and returns wide-eyed and giddy with alluring inspiration for adventure. “X” marks the spot.

The feeling (for me at least) begins in the very depths of the Lower Slutosphere – somewhere between the arse and the genitals. It’s the place where certain inspirational ideas take shape – and somehow, as yet undiscovered by medical science, the body begins to communicate these ideas as a warm, relaxing feeling that really slowly sweeps along your body with a wave of goose-bumps that seems to slowly melt your bottom into your chair.

The ideas seem subtle at first but then become louder because they are coming to you differently. You’re not entirely sure it is happening at first. And then there is that feeling that you are doing something naughty. And there is that moment. That hand-in-the-honey-pot moment just before the idea has that causal effect in your mind, where you quickly look behind you to see if anyone is watching, or if anyone has heard. It’s like a late-childhood recognition of eroding innocence – a rude awakening if you will (and it was).

I suddenly remembered about a sex toy for men I’d seen on the Internet called the Aneros (“The Male G-Spot Stimulator”, “The Most Exciting Development in the Art of Personal Orgasms” – can an orgasm be impersonal?!?).

Eventually I found the website for it and then got it on order. It just arrived this morning…

Now I’d be lying if I said this was going to be the first time I’d inserted something in that holiest of holes (the rectum). I once bought an anal vibrator that did absolutely nothing for me and subsequently ended up at first being stored in a dark corner of the attic as a shameful secret out of sight of my sexually retarded ex-girlfriend, and then eventually it got binned (as did the vibrator).

So now, in this incalculably amazing relationship I have with my wife-to-be I felt no qualms in buying this new toy and confessing all. She seemed to be as excited as I was! What a fab fab woman she is!

So it’s coming up to the moment of truth…

The amazing fucked up and poetic thing about this is that I just took it out of it’s packaging and suddenly realised that whoever designed it seemed to have been inspired by the G4 Flat Screen iMac!!! I pissed myself laughing when I put it down next to my Mac and it seemed to be an additional piece of hardware.

Not just any piece of hardware but in good old Apple Macintosh product design it’s quite literally PLUG & PLAY!!!!

You know that care and consideration has gone into the design of a butt-plug when you don’t need to rush and hide it in a blind panic when your Granny is coming to stay (provided it’s been cleaned…oh God did I really just write that?)

Now…where did I put that lube?

Text

2005-07-22T03:56:00.000-07:00

I just sent this text to my partner...

"Tonight I'm going to own you and make you feel like a complete and utter whore...x..."

Day One

2005-07-22T00:50:00.000-07:00

I haven’t wanked for nearly 24 hours.

Like I said earlier on in the blog, I’ve usually wanked every day for the last twenty years, often more than once a day – that means I’ve masturbated (and I’m tempted to list all of the names I can think of that describe this act of other/self-appreciation) around 7300 times! I’m not sure if that scares or impresses me, if it has been an addiction or simply habit. I think habit because it’s like brushing your teeth or something – you just do it for the good of yourself and those around you.

Not brushing your teeth has its obvious personal hygiene and social problems. Not wanking (in my own experience) turns you into a blithering mess of a deranged pervert. Thus it also carries with it personal and social implications. Lock up your daughters, their mothers…and maybe their pets too…

It’s all about avoiding (what is known in the UK legal system as) ASBOs (Anti-Social Behaviour Orders).

I used to have this theory just as all of that bullshit (?) about pheromone sprays were floating about (perfume or aftershave to appeal to the inner-whore of fellow human beings). I thought, “what if not wanking somehow does something to your bodies chemistry that women can pick up on”.

I put it to the test when I went on holiday to Greece at the predatory age of 19. To be fair I didn’t have much of a choice – I was sharing a tent with someone so didn’t have much time to myself. By that point I’d not had sex with anyone for about two years so wasn’t exactly feeling like Ron Jeremy (bless his cotton socks).

So anyway, sure enough at the end of the second week I was at tequila night at the campsite – got terribly drunk and ended up slowly fucking some Swiss girl in one of those white-plastic garden chairs. I might write about this experience later on as it is an experience that my partner gets aroused by. Or maybe I’ll get her to write about it 80)

Three days after this it was the turn of a rather grateful Canadian woman down on the beach.

No sex in two years. Two weeks without wanking. Two chicks in almost as many days. The theory was coming together.

Somewhere down the line though I forgot about it – probably aided by the fact that not long after returning from holiday I ended up in a slightly shorter than long-term relationship (about 18 months).

So I think that the longest I’ve ever been without masturbating has been about two weeks. Since then it has probably been about five to seven days.

When you haven’t done it for a while though it is amazing. Every stroke feels intense - and the orgasm more so. And at those times it makes one think, “Shit, I’ve been missing out – is it quantity or quality?” Until now, quantity seems to have been the victor.

So bear with me in this slutty blog I’m writing. It’s not just a running commentary about wanking (or not) but also about how kerbing it affects the deeper side of my sexuality/sensuality or (in an attempt to coin a word): My Slutosphere (odd…why wasn’t that in the MS Word spell checker?)

I love the heat...

2005-07-21T17:24:00.000-07:00

I love the heat that takes us when we fuck…
Your hands on the small of my back,
That base whorishness that accelerates into faster harder more clumsy and less deliberate kissing.
My fingers teasing your aching nipples
My fingers violating your toes
My hands…simply on you
The hard rub of the soft skin of our waists met.
The moist promise of your cunt taking me.
My inches reaching into you, stretching you, filling you, leading you on to more...
Your lost deep glazed eyes when your orgasm beckons.
The place you retreat to when you succumb
The scarlet feverish flush of your skin as you lose yourself in us, amidst your “pleases” and “fuck me’s” and “I love you’s”
I’m fucking you
I love you.

Oh yeah...about my blog...

2005-07-21T17:09:00.000-07:00

Working from home all day long can be such a drag…

So I turn my mind to a personal experiment of writing about the rights and wrongs of my whorish thoughts and experiences.

This instead of wanking.

After all, I’m an educated guy doing a PhD in something-about-culture-or-other. I’m not saying I’ve got smarts. I’m not saying this will be the erotic blog of the year – but my challenge is to reflect and write about my sexuality instead of tugging at it.

My poor poor girlfriend…I’ve told her of course (she’s lovely) about my quest to only physically engage my body in sexual activity with her (or whoever else is there with us at the time) in order to see whether the pen (or keyboard) is mightier than the cock/hand/Hoover. She looked like a rabbit in the headlights when I told her. Masturbation is like bromide. “God help me” she said (smiling).

I want to know if channelling my sexuality in this way will affect me in some way. I’m not a particularly gifted writer, but like lots of you out there, I find myself beautifully scorched by my sensuality and so wish to explore it differently.

It’s about guiding my sex in a different direction – I’m tempted to say in a more mature way – visually, aurally, textually. I’ve masturbated pretty much every day since I was eleven. I’m now thirty-one. I’m sick of the pull of commercial, soulless porn.

Time to make my own…

Fuck! You’re home from work early…

2005-07-21T16:32:00.000-07:00

Key’s in the door and I’m about to cum. I’m looking at the photos I’ve taken of you on my computer to aid me.

I love it when you dress like a 1950s slut.

You slut.

You call out my name but I’m almost there and the excitement of being caught almost takes me over - but just as I am about to release you see me. Photos of you and some random blonde’s cunt that I captured from the web.

You look shocked. “You dirty fuck!” you say quietly, coldly, wickedly. And I feel humiliated but my cock is still really hard – aching. I carry on gripping.

And then, to my surprise, you walk over to me and sit up on the desk, hitching your skirt up and revealing your knickerless cream-brown hold-ups and your sweet sweet pussy.

My hands traverse that place you know I adore – where the smooth netted nylon of your hold-ups meet the warm silky-skin promise of your upper thigh.

Then you grab my cock hard – really hard and wank it fast – faster as it grows harder in your hand, and my balls tighten as I quickly (and shamefully) release a warm ribbon of cum over the thick border of your hold ups and your thigh…

And you just hold me there until my orgasm is complete, my breathlessness passes, and my cock slowly becomes flaccid.

“You dirty fuck”, you whisper…”you dirty fuck”…