Wednesday, July 27, 2005

The iPod aPod Connection Proven!

Okay ~ so I was on the phone today with the people from Aneros to find out what the link was between the design team at Aneros and the design team at Apple Inc.

Would you believe it I was absolutely right! Sherlock Holmes step aside! R~H~B~H (PI) is here as Slut Sleuth (with a cape and everything!) YAAAAY!!!

So Aneros’ R & D department (not the Rectum and Delight Dept – but the other one – Research and Development) said that they had worked with Apple Inc and Mr Jonathan Ive to help out on the project. Jonathan Ive, you may or may not know my horny friends, is the gentleman who designed the…wait for it…iPod and the iMac!!!!!!

Can I hear a big “WOOOOO-HOOOOOOO” from y’all down in the South, and a “BRA-VO” from you kind fellows in the East?

So…

The story (in a nutshell) goes like this…

Aneros and Apple are in discussions for months looking at how to develop the idea that they have both been trying to work on for years ~ how to get past an asshole to find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

For Apple, the asshole is Bill Gates. For Aneros it was asshole in the truest biological sense. Which yes, some of you might still say is Bill Gates…or George Bush…or Tony Blair…or even me for that matter.

Anyhoo, they get together around a big table with comfy seats, lots of smiling faces, and discuss how they can work together on the asshole problem (just like Bush and Blair did).

Aneros had been struggling for years to find the perfect anal plug and play system; Apple Inc had that concept well and truly drilled. Apple had the Microsoft Asshole problem (that’s not micro_soft_asshole ~ I don’t know what that is ~ ask a doctor) whilst Aneros had been configuring and reconfiguring technology to minimize asshole control for several years.

It was a match made in heaven. Jonathan Ive (the designer) came up with the killer idea of cross-referencing the aesthetic design of the iPod and iMac with the Aneros. It would be a techno-trinity of titillation if you will. And they did.





However…

Problems began when it came to the marketing stage. Jonathan Ive had made the mistake of using the same advertising style for BOTH products. Nobody could agree who had a legal right to the advertising campaign that they all knew was going to be a success…it went to court…Apple won (don’t they always) and Aneros had to find an alternative ad campaign.

It was a sad day. The partnership was broken and with it, in my opinion, the wonderful depravities of cybersex technology has been set back by decades…DECADES I TELL YOU!!!!

Aneros kindly sent me a copy of one of the advertisements that would have appeared on billboards across the world had things gone more smoothly.

And here it is for your viewing pleasure…


10 Comments:

Blogger Wendy the Cavewyfe wrote...

Wait til the newswires pick up this story. Wow.
And what a coincidence you'd post this now! My agent was recently approached to see if I would be willing to go on a 300 mall tour in the fall the demonstrate this product for the masses (and their asses). The problem is, I can plug and play but I can barely speak while it's happening. I was hoping you'd come along to interpret. But I guess Apple has barred both of us from fame once again....for now.

3:46 am  
Blogger RedHeadBedHead wrote...

LOL! The Aneros tour sounds great! I take it that would not have been in the Bible Belt of America (although i guess they'd shout abuse and then scurry off home and buy it on the web!).

I hope that they offered to provide the lube anyway - 300 tours = 300 demonstrations (at least) and that's one sore Housewyfe!

I'd gladly translate - but another option is that you could set up an Instant Messenger system on a big screen and type away...but I guess there would be lots of type-o's what with all the fun!!! Love your blog by the way!

4:51 am  
Blogger Wendy the Cavewyfe wrote...

Maybe I could borrow Steven Hawkings voice transmitter system to get the message out.

And agreed, we need a lube sponsor. Perhaps an entire pit stop crew to keep things moving.

And I say we hit the Bible Belt. Or just below it. ;-) God knows they need us.

I really enjoy your blog too. I see a shared evil sense of humour.

8:18 am  
Blogger RedHeadBedHead wrote...

I like your progressive thinking - the Steven Hawkings thing is a great idea - and out of that I would think a lucrative speciality phone sex service might emerge! I can hear Astrophysicists (?) rubbing their hands as I write...

Not too sure about the Bible belt though - can that area handle a cultural revoloution right now? Watch this space - I'm developing a product that might be useful for enlightnening that part of the world...will post soon...

~x~

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